When Everybody Is Blowing Up… Except You

Disclaimer: I drop a few, ahem, ‘French’ words in this post. You’ve been warned. 🙂

It happens all the time.

You are building your online business, and you have all these BIG plans. You make lists. You set goals. You commit dates to memory.

You make daily affirmations, speak your reality into being, and practically radiate success. And, you also know that in order to gain credibility and reputation for doing your thing, you’ve got to pay some dues, so you create your art, give some away for cheap, or for free, hoping for some feedback and guidance about where your people want and need you to be.

And they love you.

I mean, they freaking LOVE you, dude.

And it’s so super-dee duper exciting! You are on FIRE, baby!

So, you start making more plans, creating more art, tweaking your stuff, preparing to really SHOW UP, you know? And you are READY. You were BORN ready, homey.

And then, something comes up that distracts your attention. Your kid’s got a recital. You’re bestie needs help working on a special project. A business colleague needs a favor. Or, a peer that you love and respect is in a bind and needs your kind of help in a bind. So you do it. You figure, “All this giving is going to be great for me, because I’ll have my turn soon. I can set this BIG-fucking-DEAL-that-will-change-my-life to the side for a hot second, and help a sister out. Everything will be okay.”

Weeks go by, you are working hard for your people, the ones who are always there for you, love you and support you. You lose sleep, you call in favors, you bend over backwards to serve. And everything you put your hand to not only grows, it THRIVES! You are super proud of the successes and accomplishments of your homies, because they deserve it. And it feels good to be a part of something amazing! And you ride on that high for a while….

… and then you look around and realize that you’re still sitting on the ground. Your OWN baby has been neglected, ignored, pushed to the side, and basically treated like a red-headed stepchild with halitosis and a body odor. Yeah. HARSH, right?

That’s when you begin to feel the desperation, the agony, and anxiety and pain of lack. You look around at the magic you have helped to create, but for OTHER PEOPLE, and you wonder why you have not been able to do it for YOURSELF! Like, YO! What the hell is really good?

Can I tell you a not-so-secret secret?


Now, I know you’re thinking, “Hell, nawl, Farah! Why the heck would I want to sabotage my own shit? That’s just ridiculous! Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

But, oh yes, boo boo. You really just did that. And you wanna know hu-why? I knew that you would. Like ta hear it? Here it go….





I mean, think about it… in order for your business to finally shoot, bang zoom, to the moon, you need HELP. The same kind of help, mind you, that you just handed off to a bazillion other lucky bugs (that you love) and blown their joints up REAL NICE. You know first hand that entrepreneurs who leverage their connections to create a team that supports them in the areas where they are less skilled and knowledgeable EXPERIENCE FASTER, SUSTAINED SUCCESS.

So, explain to me, exactly WHY aren’t you leveraging your network? Hmmmmm?

Thought so.


Please stop the bullshit. Stop listening to it, stop reading it, stop believing it. You already KNOW how amazing you are. And, DUH! People have already told you so. If you have no idea who I’m referring to, see the top of this post to jog your memory. You’re welcome.

Yes, launching and growing a business is some hard shit. This ain’t no game. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL! But you MUST understand that it can not and will not work until you are committed to doing whatever it takes to make it work. And that means showing up FOR REAL for real, and facing whatever rejections or criticisms you’re going to get. It means asking for help from people you respect and admire (and are trying to impress) at the risk of having them know “the truth” about you and your business – that NO, you do NOT have your shit quite together yet, and NO, you are NOT stacking papers just yet, and YES, you need some shit for free/dirt cheap/in exchange for slave labor because you’re so broke you’ve been eating oatmeal 3 times a day for the past month.


Marie Forleo slept on a futon at a friend’s house for months while holding down two jobs and a fledgling coaching business. Mastin Kipp had to live in his former girlfriend’s parents pool shed. Ashley Ambirge was living out of her car at a low point in her life. It fucking happens. Did they let that shit stop them? HELL, NAWL!

So cut it the hell out, will ya? If you need some shit done so you can finally handle your business and finally cross that line, ASK SOMEBODY. The worst thing that they can say is NO, and you are no worse off than when you started. You may-hap need to finagle a few things, but I’ll tell you what… you will lose 100% of the opportunities that you don’t take.

And, if you don’t ask, the answer will ALWAYS BE NO.

Coach Farah wants to know…

How have you sabotaged your own business growth?

Reprinted with permission from the author.

[Photo credit: Happyisthenewhealthy.com]



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